I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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