i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize