if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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