I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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