We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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