Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
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Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
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I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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