just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
