A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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