break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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