Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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