So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
