I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
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