I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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