So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
