Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
