I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
