our cab driver is having phone sex.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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