The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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