I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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