She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
