K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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