My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
