Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
All the doctor said was why
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
