who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My day in three words: secret purse cake
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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