You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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