There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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