Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Come share oat with me in your robe
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize