He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
