Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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