I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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