how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Houston, we have a blender
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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