I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
