So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
