All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I smell stomach acid.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
