is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My breasts were aching with rage.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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