he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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