Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
