he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
