This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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