Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
