this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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