Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize