shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
