I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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