I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
