if you like me you must not know who I am
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Randomize
