puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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