You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
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I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
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