So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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