sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
