I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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