OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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