I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
He passed out mid-signature
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Randomize
