I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
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