I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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